Small Boat

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

The whole song isn't exactly fitting, but the chorus gets me everytime.

I gotta tell ya guys, these blogs get easier and easier to write everytime.

We had our ECHO this morning. It yielded a beautiful, perfectly structured, 100% functioning, beating heart.

We were initially given the odds 1:1,450 of carrying a baby with Down syndrome. Later we were given the odds <1:5 and then a Positive result. Rauri IS the 7%. She escaped the once 93% of babies with fetal diagnosis whose lives would end with termination. And has now dodged the 50% odds of having a heart defect be it life threatening or otherwise.

She was also waived of any abdominal abnormalities, intestinal deformities, and any other birth defects of the like. I am thrilled.

Just as stubborn as her mama, daddy, and two siblings, Ruari is here to show us that she is nowhere near ready to play by the rules. Originally I was crushed that for me, "defying odds" meant a future of the unknown, a scary diagnosis, a baby who could struggle to thrive, and one that will face many hardships.. and now I rest easy knowing that for her, "defying odds" means her strength and health are already proving others wrong. I am feeling reassured. This is just a glimpse of the little spitfire that will grace us in a few months.

"Never Tell Me The Odds; I Will Take Them & Defy Them"

whats next?

3 hour glucose (not sure how one only gains 5 lbs in nearly 25 weeks and can end up with GD) - 7.27.15
3 week follow up with regular OB - 8.11.15
6 weeks from now, full growth scan again, additional echo, high risk Dr visit, regular OB visit - 9.2.15

How Sweet It Is

As the age old saying goes, everything gets better with time.

And I’m starting to think that maybe it doesn’t get better with time,
maybe it just gets sweeter.

As we were given Rauri’s diagnosis nearly 12 weeks ago, and decided to
share with the world nearly 7 weeks ago - everything has only gotten
sweeter. I have continued to be blown away by the incredible amounts
of support that our community, friends and family have shown us. It is
indescribable, amazing, fulfilling, and utterly humbling.

It ‘s on a rare basis that I leave my house and don’t return home
without having an encounter with someone who restores my faith
in my ability to be the best mom I can be to Rauri (and London and
Nash too, of course) and to take what we are given and rock it.

In the last weekend alone I was approached by nearly a dozen people,
who recalled reading ‘Rauris Road’. They offered support and insight
on how sharing our story had directly affected them or left them with
some way to relate. I take pride in knowing I can touch someone’s
heart, affecting their intellect is just a bonus. I can only hope that
people are taking away more from Rauris story than what meets the eye.
Maybe her story will teach compassion, acceptance, and patience.

I guess aside from merely checking in, I want to continue to show my
gratitude..our gratitude.. for those who continue to add to our
strength, and our confidence. A thank you to those who leave us with
constant reminders that somebody has hand picked us for this
incredible journey when we begin to doubt ourselves. And a thank you
to those who continue to love us on days when we may not be so
lovable, weather we may be stressed,  exhausted or have researched
ourselves to death. It does not go unnoticed. It’s often those closest
to us who truly take the brunt of our bad days, and though it is
inexcusable we appreciate the extra patience.

I am finally beginning to feel like we are truly prepared. It’s a
breath of fresh air to be able to be excited lately, and not nearly as
worried. The kicks and rolls and Braxton hicks contractions are in
FULL FORCE. The Braxton hicks I could live without and she CERTAINLY
isn’t a fan of live G.B. Leighton, but I can’t help but smile and my
heart can’t help but to skip a beat whenever she gives me a good
nudge.

The kids and I still check the baby apps every Sunday. I think this
has truly become my favorite part of this pregnancy. Seeing the kids
beam on Sunday morning when we know we have a new update is the cutest
thing ever!! They can’t wait to see how big her hand is now, in
comparison to the day she will be born, to see what size fruit or
vegetable she is nearest to that week, and to read about all that she
is accomplishing in mamas belly. Nash has to kiss her goodnight every
night and doesn’t miss an opportunity to “pet” her and snuggle into
her whenever I stop long enough to pull my shirt up over my belly.
London is a little more passive but we know she is equally as excited
and she never fails to remind us that she got the girl baby she
wanted, while Nash didn’t get the boy baby he had hoped for. I don’t think
either are terribly disappointed. I fall more and more in love with
all of them with each passing day, I swear.

The next step is our fetal ECHO on the 21st and if all looks good,
after our very successful Level 2 Ultrasound we will be *demoted* to a
TYPICAL pregnancy, from a HIGH RISK pregnancy. Never thought I would
be SO EXCITED to be demoted. A few extra growth scans stand in between
me and a very typical, scheduled, c section delivery and I could shout
it from the roof tops.

In other news, Charlie decided the other day that he wasn’t 100% in
love with the full name Aurora and to call her Rauri for short, so
Rauri alone it shall be. London still has it in her head that her baby
is princess Aurora, but I think with a few extra dollars in the
therapy jar she will come around. ;) We also have FINALLY agreed upon
a ‘middle name’ but I think we have decided to keep some excitement
and leave that reveal for her birthday! The first time in the history
of ever I have left something to the imagination, and its kind of fun!
Ha!

SO stay tuned, and thank you thank you thank you again from the bottom
of my heart, and my family’s heart. We couldn’t keep our positivity without being surrounded by incredible people.

Today, just as any other day, I am feeling BLESSED.

Love you all.